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Should teens have coed sleepovers?
Results so far:
| Yes | 39% | 412 votes | Total: 1050 votes | |
| No | 61% | 638 votes |
Yes
by Casey-Leigh Hethers
Created on: February 15, 2009
Living in today's world, where multiculturism is a strongly promoted and healthy attitude to any person's daily habits, our teens should be equally encouraged to have a wide mix of friends - including those from the opposite gender. However, staying over for the night, as teenagers, when hormones may well be raging should be a situation that is carefully considered by the adult(s) designated as being in charge. It is quite probable that the large majority of teens can be trusted to be sensible and act responsible when given this opportunity. Define rules from the start that both parties agree to and will be comfortable with.
A few years ago, I stayed over at several friends' houses frequently on weekends and during school/college holidays. There might have been several of us, just two of us; same sex, different sex; whatever. Nothing scandalous happened, it was just friends staying up all night - talking, watching movies, eating, drinking. I probably would have been reluctant to stay over unless I trusted them not to raise an issue of peer pressure - and chances are, most teens will be able to extract themselves from situations where they might be cajoled or nudged into something they didn't want.
In this day and age, as a parent you may instantly fear the worst but, the fact is, your teenager will grow up eventually. How well prepared they are for adulthood depends on how much you have enabled them to learn the essential lessons from life. If you don't want to let your child have a sleepover somewhere else where you aren't able to supervise, suggest that it can be your teenager who hosts the sleepover under your roof. Bonus points for you as a "fun" parent. For you, it provides the opportunity to know exactly who's there, what's happening and to set some ground rules (just don't be unnecessarily strict).
At the present moment in time your teenager may still be living at home with you but imagine what could happen in a few years time (or less). Their chance to travel away to college and university beckons and life by their own rules is going to be different, whether you have made the choices for them or not. If they have been trusted with their own freedom and responsibility for the past few years, you can rest assured that they will cope just fine on their own where the temptations of the world at large will be far greater than any coed sleepover would have been for them.
Life is similar to a school. It is there to teach us lessons. All we have to do is be willing enough to learn - both from successes and failures. And life's greatest lessons can not be discovered by someone else making the choices for us, we have to establish our own path in life; no matter where it might lead us. So give your teenager a chance today, if you've previously refused the idea of a coed sleepover, let them make the choice this time - the gift of your trust could make them think over the outcome and potential consequences of any decision they make alone.
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No
by Morgan Watkins
Created on: June 26, 2008
When groups of girls get together for a sleepover, there's chick flicks, snacks, and makeovers. When groups of guys get together, they usually play video games or just watch movies. So what happens when guys and girls are put together during a sleepover? This is where the debate comes in. Teenagers should not be able to have coed sleepovers because of the temptations involved. Now, you might be thinking I'm just a parent that doesn't want my kid to be led down the wrong path. This is not the case. I'm a teenager myself and still in high school. I've heard of many friends making the wrong decisions at these coed sleepovers. When guys and girls get together to hang out all night, they could end up making the wrong decisions.
However, there are some things you must consider when thinking about this debate. I'm saying no to this debate because I'm considering a coed sleepover a situation when a group of girls and boys are at a friends house sleeping over for the night. Schools and churches both have "all nighters" which are packed with people and fun. The difference most of the time between these all nighters and coed sleepovers is the number of parent chaperone's. At church and school all nighters, there are many rules set and adult supervisors to make sure these rules are followed. However, if a group of girls and guys are spending the night at a friends house, there is no way to tell how many adults there are and if they will just be sleeping or actually supervising. Even if you do call the adult who will be there, if you do not know the adult they may not be trust worthy. I've had my friend's mom talk to all the teenagers parents and tell them that they were safe at her home. Later on, she drank too much alcohol and there was no way she was sober enough to supervise us. Situations like this do occur.
I am a teenager, and I have personally dealt with the temptations involved at these sleepovers. Parents are not always supervising, and most of the time they fall asleep even if they were supervising. This leaves the teenagers with an easy way to slip into trouble. I'm not saying your teenager will for sure have sex if you let them go to a coed sleepover. I'm saying they can sometimes fall into trouble without even realizing it. A simple game of truth or dare could turn into a game not so innocent. They will start the game with the mind set that it's just truth or dare, and soon enough they will be making out with one of the guys with their shirts off. This is an actual example I've heard of. Coed sleepovers are not a safe way for teenagers to hang out.
If you do not let your teenager go to a coed sleepover, you are not being a "mean parent". Even if your teen says they hate you, and your ruining their life, this is not true and most of the time we forget the next day if we yelled this at you. Teenagers can have just as much fun hanging out until 11 p.m. as they would sleeping over. Probably even more fun. If your teen does want to go a coed sleepover, you can compromise. Tell them they can go, but you will be picking them up sometime between 11 - 12. That way, they can still go and have fun but they will not be sleeping over all night with guys. Even though at the time I'm mad, I appreciate when my mom says no to events that could lead me to trouble because it shows that she cares.
Coed sleepovers could lead to teens making bad decisions. If your teen asks to go to a coed sleepover at a friends house, make a compromise with them and pick them up around 11 or 12. Explain to them that you trust them, but you want to help them make the right decisions by not letting them get themselves into situations that could lead to trouble. You're not being a mean parent, your being a caring parent by saying no to a coed sleepover.
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