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Add to FavoritesWhether we live with or without regrets, depends on the perspective we have on our lives, as a whole. If our lives have turned out fair, we might not be as quick to drag out the feelings of regret, but what about for those who feel life has been a constant struggle? Feelings of regret follow these people around every corner. We can be assured, it is possible to live without regrets, and when we see our lives through a Christian perspective, we can see how it is possible.
Regret is the sorrowful feeling that we have when we feel we could or should have done something differently. When we feel regret, we are looking back into the past. The problem with this, is, no matter how hard we wish, that instant we have regret about, is still in the past, and cannot be changed. The regret we are carrying around has no purpose at all, except to give us more burdensome luggage.
The way to work through the regret is to evaluate the circumstance. What has been lost and gained by the decision or poor choice? Bible Scriptures give us ways to work through the burdensome times in our lives. First of all, the Bible tells us the sun shines on both the good and evil and rains on both the good and evil. This assures us that the hard times we have faced doesn't mean that God hates us. God loves every one of us. Secondly, the Bible tells us that there is nothing that happens to any one of us, that has not happened to someone before us. We are not unique in this way. With this in mind, we can know we are not alone. Thirdly, the Bible tells us that God uses our lives for His purpose. It doesn't matter if we are on the side of good or evil, God will use us to bring people, including us, to Him.
The things we regret have been on our travels with us. We won't let them go. "What if?" we constantly nag ourselves. Put the nagging thought aside for a moment and look at the person you've become. Those feelings of regret have had some bearing in the way you are today, and is either positive or negative. An example might be a of a teenage girl who got pregnant and had to choose the life of near poverty over the road to higher education and a career. Has her life been wasted? Should she walk around with regrets? I think not. She has raised beautiful children and God has taught her strength, endurance, courage, and other traits she might not have gained otherwise. She has prevailed and how could she possibly have regrets? God takes our bad decisions, and works them for good. If we cannot find the blessings of the good, someone else will, by using us for the example. Our poor choices and bad attitude teaches someone else how to be different and more positive.
Some regrets are deeper than that though. What about the one who feels that a decision they've made had caused harm to someone else, and they have regretted it all of their days? The Bible says that we should confess our sins and accept Jesus as our Savior. Jesus died on the cross to pay for any sin we have committed. Once we confess, Jesus has paid for the sin, and we are forgiven. That burden of regret should be lifted from us, and if we cannot forget it, at least forgive it. If Jesus forgives us, we need to forgive ourselves. If we don't, then we have not truly allowed Jesus to be our Savior. Confess and let go of the regrets. We are not supposed to hang onto the past, but to learn from it and move on.
There is much debate about how much freewill we have and how much God destines for our lives. This is a topic that confuses new believers and some old, alike. Most of us have those questioning times in our lives when we can't determine if a regret came out of our own doing, or God's. We need to understand that not only does God have the ultimate control of our lives, there are also things that happen in our lives that we are just not to know the answers to, at least in this life. Here again, regret serves no purpose except to give us more burdensome weight to carry around.
It is possible, even crucial, not to have regrets in life. With God, anything is possible and if you missed your boat, but it is God's intent for you to be on it, you will be, in His time. From this point on, leave the regrets on the ground. Start counting your blessings. Our God-given talents and gifts come out of the things that happen in our lives, which is in the power of God. What is your regret? If you look deep enough, you may find something very valuable that came out of that instant. God is at work.
Learn more about this author, Kathy Vandermark.
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No
A life lived without regrets is a live lived in a vacuum. It's a life that has never taken the risk of loving, acting on personal and original thoughts, and never having dared the consequences of stepping outside the ordinary. A life lived in safety and within all the prescribed rules is often the life that is lived with the most regrets. What could have been, what could I have achieved, what differences could I have made in my life and the lives of other if only I'd had the courage, and how could the world have been just a little bit different if I'd accepted regrets with grace?
Regrets are the footprints we leave behind in the ever changing sands of life. They are the incomplete and poorly formed footprints that warn others to chose another path, or they are deep and confident and defined with precision that say, "I walked this way after many failed attempts. This is a path that can be trusted. Follow until the footprints fade, then begin your own journey into the future of human experience." Without the regrets, we leave no mark. Without regrets, we leave no signs or stories from which others can continue the one journey of humanity we all contribute to in our own small way. How sad to leave this world without ever having made a mark.
The objective is not to live life without regrets, but to chose your regrets wisely whenever possible. Take risks, love with abandon, set your mind free to think thoughts no one has dared think before, but don't be reckless in your actions. Be bold. Be confident. Be positive and cloak yourself in an attitude you may not deserve or have not yet earned, but wear the cloak and live with purpose. Be ready to take the blows of regrets, and muster up the courage and humility to make amends. Regrets teach us how to say, "I was wrong," and "I'm sorry," and "Will you forgive me." When we learn to speak these words, we learn the depth of their difficulty. We learn to forgive and judge by a different set of rules that are less rigid and hurtful without reason. We learn to chose our inevitable regrets with wisdom.
A regret is a feeling, and feelings are the middle-man of our conscience, our right life, our purpose for being alive. We can't base our life on feelings and emotions because they carry with them no "product." They are the messengers of what is lies inside of us. Physical pain is a feeling, but if we live our lives only reacting to the pain and doing whatever we can to make it go away, we will miss the broken bone the pain is trying to tell us about, or we won't visit the dentist to repair a fragile tooth that needs attention. As it is with physical feelings, so to is it with emotional feelings. They're messengers that tell us of our purpose, of right and wrong, of the actions we need to take or stop. Attempting to eliminate regret is, literally, killing the messenger.
It is possible to live life without regrets, but it would be a life left unexplored of its potential and possibilities. It could be a life lived in denial of the imperfection of human existence; a life without communication with our messengers and the stories they have to tell. Compassion and forgiveness don't come easily, and regrets are often the price we pay for living bold, and learning how to give to others the most difficult gifts.
Regrets are not to be feared. In fact, it is a life without regrets, and all they bring, that I fear most.
Learn more about this author, Cyd Madsen.
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