Get a Widget for this title
RSS FeedCan you teach a teen to resist peer pressure all of the time?
Results so far:
| Yes | 35% | 108 votes | Total: 311 votes | |
| No | 65% | 203 votes |
Yes
Write now
Print
Invite a writer™
Add to FavoritesI believe it's possible. I also believe we can exceed the speed of light. But I'm fairly certain we won't do either in our lifetimes, though faster-than-light travel is more likely.
Resist peer pressure all of the time? That's a challenge of the highest order. I wonder what the world would be like if forty thousand years ago, mankind had found the secret of teaching youngsters to resist peer pressure all' of the time. In the first place, our global population would be a fraction of what it is today. In the second place, we'd probably still be eating with our fingers.
There's more to peer pressure than Jane falling prey to emulating Jill's latest fashion statement. Peer pressure has a deeper foundation in the angst of new generations for generating oppositional approaches to living, lifestyles, and objectives. Though not all of these are great ideas, many are reasonable enough to inspire the creative initiatives that have moved humanity forward through the millennia. The young are naturally inclined to challenge and ignore conventions and doctrines of their elders and bring new and contradictory social concepts into being.
All of this, of course, is at the horror of the previous generations. There's not a generation of parents in history that didn't fear their children were going to hell in a hand basket. The extent to which we are able to guarantee our children won't be influenced toward inappropriate behavior by peer pressure is partly a matter of how insulated our kids are from extra-family contact and partly how draconian we are as parents.
I believe peer pressure isn't an archetypical social phenomenon but only a symptom of social evolution. I know that the idea of evolution is anathema to many but it's nevertheless a fact both in the life of our planet and of human progress. I would also posit that peer pressure isn't restricted to teenagers.
All of us are prey to peer pressure. It is inelegant to posture that our adult pressures are benign while we defame those of our children.
We also have to admit we're the product of four or five decades of unprecedented permissiveness as regards child-rearing. We're inundated with new-age promulgations of psychiatrists and psychologists who suggest that spanking a child is criminal abuse and advise us to learn conflict-resolution techniques to keep little Jack or Jill from dousing the cat with lighter fluid and striking a match.
So, yes, it's possible to eliminate the influence of peer pressure, but it takes a secession from modern society that is only possible in the most restrictive camps; those isolated cults that deny technology, resign from social interaction, and live in tribal seclusion until their pious leaders' are arrested for debauchery and the impregnation of pre-teen girls.
Teaching our children to absolutely ignore and resist peer pressure is unlikely but possible. We can teach morals and ethics and hope some of our ideas are more interesting than MTV. We can try to live perfect lives and teach by example. We can isolate and punish our children so they're frightened to death of our wrath.
I'm fairly sure we don't actually want to do that. After all, we've constructed the world into which they've come and they're the ones who have to construct the world into which their own children will come and have to survive, manipulate and control.
Like it or not, peer pressure isn't a result, it's a process.
Learn more about this author, Michael Patrick.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
No
We cannot teach our teens to resist peer pressure all of the time. They are young, easily influenced and just beginning to discover themselves. Keeping the lines of communication open, offering consistent guidance and support will hopefully be the balance they need to be strong and secure teenagers.
We begin at an early age to build their self-esteem and confidence. By encouraging our small children to make decisions based on our family values, we are teaching them independence. The truth is, as parents we work every day to provide the tools and skills our teens need to resist peer pressure.
The hope is, as parents we have encouraged our teens to make the right decision to follow and trust their intuition. There are temptations facing our teens every single day. They are often faced with situations and pressures that require them to make a choice. Many choices could influence their future in a negative way. It could be cheating on a test, underage drinking or experimenting with drugs, to name a few.
Peer pressure is one of the greatest stresses our teens will face. They want to be popular and fit in with a certain group of people. We can have a solid and open relationship with our teens but the truth is, at this time of their life their friends are the force behind them.
The question is; have we given them enough guidance growing up? Have we instilled in them a strong, personal value? Constant reassurance will remind them that we believe in them and the young adult they are becoming. Trusting them will encourage them to make independent decisions wisely.
We need to be willing to ask them hard questions and be willing to listen to their answers. A strong relationship with your teen begins with you, the parent. Building this relationship needs to start when they are children and they believe you have all the answers, to all the questions!
The fact is, as parents we cannot be with our teens 24 hours a day. We had to learn many life lessons on our own, growing up. Having an open and direct relationship with your teen is not always easy, but necessary. We need and want to be there for them when they make a mistake. We need to assure them every day to make good decisions for themselves. Remind them to be strong and confident in their ability to make good choices.
As parents, we do the very best we can. We make many mistakes along the way of this parenting journey. We learn and move forward with the hope we have given our kids the strongest foundation possible. We teach them skills to communicate and cope with life's challenges.
The teen years are full of temptations and pressures. Building a solid foundation of accountability and responsibility will enable them to make the right decisions.
As parents, we need to assure our kids we will always be there for them. When and if, they fall down, we will be the first to help them up and brush them off. We will offer forgiveness, guidance and help them move forward.
Although, we cannot teach them to resist peer pressure all of the time, we can provide tools, guidance and the constant assurance of our love and support.
Learn more about this author, Peggy Lindgren.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Difference of opinion? Debate now.
- Child Behavior & Discipline (Other)
- Does yelling reinforce discipline?
- If children behave badly, who's to blame: Parents or child?
- Is being your teen's best friend conducive to effective discipline?
- Should you discipline another parent's child?
- Can extracurricular activities help your child resist peer pressure?
- Can children be taught the value of sportsmanship in an era of steroid abuse and ever more aggressive parents in the stands at Little League games?
