Can ADHD in friends put your child in danger?

Yes

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by Cheryl Chastainn

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While I wish that I could answer no to the question, "Can ADHD in friends put your child in danger?" I cannot. I speak not only as a mother of a 16 year old ADHD daughter, but also as a professional at the MA level, and having years in an acute hospital setting. When people think of the term ADHD, they often are thinking of the little hyperactive neighbor child that bounces off the walls and has risk taking behaviors that net him many injuries. People also think of the ADD child that seems to be daydreaming and in a world of their own. In answering this question, I need to take more of the factors used to determine ADHD. One of these factors is impulsivity.

Many children with ADHD are extremely impulsive. When you factor this piece of the puzzle into hyper active and a lack of attention, ADHD can become a very dangerous disorder. There is not a magic pill. Medication can be very helpful; however, it does not always cure or even come close to extinguishing the behaviors. My own child required a very high dose of stimulant and she still had impulsivity. She could focus better on the things she wanted to focus on, but their was an impulsive factor that medications did not address. In the acute care setting I have observed that every child is different. Every child needs their own course of medication and sometimes this has to be given at an exact and specific time with other medications in order to notice positive change. The child might receive a dose of stimulant first thing in the morning, but by 4pm the child is crashing and exhibiting very bad behavior. This child might need a second dose of the stimulant not at 4pm, rather, he might be prescribed a dose at 3pm to ward off the crashing of the morning dose.

One of the more common drugs for impulsivity is Clonidine. At first it seems a life saver because it makes the child very sleepy; however, this will wear off within a few weeks of its usage. Frequently this medication in combination with a stimulant will take care of the ADHD child's impulsivity and that is a positive. Unfortunately there are side effects to each drug that may necessitate discontinuing their usage, and, their are children that do not respond 100% to medication therapy. At this point the child might be re-evaluated for other disorders.

Assuming that other disorders are ruled out and medication therapy is not the quick fix so many parents, including myself, think and want it to be, one is left with the original question, "Can ADHD in friends put your child in danger?" My answer is yes. ADHD children and teens not only frequently put themselves in danger, if your child is with them they might be in danger as well. At this point I am going to focus more on the ADHD teenager rather than the ADHD child. When you factor in the teens new found hormone surge and ADHD, you come up with an entirely different prospective.

I will tell you right now, do not let your teen ride in the car with my ADHD daughter. First, at 16, if she is driving, it is against what I have voiced to the entire family. ADHD teens are more likely to be distracted by anything from the radio to what ever is over there somewhere. They are probably not watching the road as well as you would hope. It is already proven that teens have more accidents from not always paying attention, but the ADHD teen is going to be even less focused. Also, never assume that the teen has actually taken their medication today. Too many parents try to give their child the responsibility of taking their medication on their own. This is a big mistake. Because the answer you are likely to get if you ask the teen if they have taken their medication is,"I don't remember," or "I think so." The ADHD friend might be driving your teen in the car and not have taken their medication. Now we factor in the impulsive thrill seeking behavior of the teenage ADHD driver and they are driving over the speed limit and trying to make the red light. This puts everyone in the vaciity at risk for an accident and potential death.

Another very impulsive behavior in a teen is sex. We, of course hope our children are abstaining from sex, but statistics say otherwise. My personal belief is that if my children are going to have sex, then I want them educated on diseases and on birth control. Not all parents have this thought process, and don't want to address it. Let me assure you the ADHD teen girl, if left on her own to take the birth control pill, will probably forget it at least a few days in the months making it ineffective. The impulsive teenage boy may have bought condoms, but he might not remember to take one with him, or forget he has one in his pocket. This may not be life threatening, but it is a negative life factor for the teens if they become pregnant. I could continue to list other behaviors that one might encounter with ADHD teens and children; however, I feel these examples are extreme and thought provoking.

When your child has a friend that is ADHD, it is important for you to educate them on the potential risks they might encounter and how to say "no" if they feel their friend is putting them at risk. Behavior modification is the most successful tool in dealing with ADHD. Teaching your child to be the positive role model is a good step after educating him or her in the potential risks they might encounter with their ADHD friend. It would be very inappropriate to tell your child not to be friends with the ADHD child, rather, it is better to keep open parent teen communication going between you and your teen. Good communication can be a life saver. The life it might save is the life of your child and others.

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