Can ADHD in friends put your child in danger?

Yes

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by James Lynne

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ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, creates a danger zone for all those who come in contact with its victims. With their antisocial behaviors, on the journey from Kindergarten to prison, some ADHD victims inflict collateral damage on others. ADHD can be mild or it can be severe. At its severest level it can be fatal, not only putting the child with the syndrome at risk, but endangering associates and bystanders as well.

The fact that the phone was ringing in the middle of the night prepared me that it would be bad news. The voice on the line was my older brother. "Jim, Ted is in the hospital in critical condition. He is not expected to live." Ted was my nineteen-year-old nephew, whose impulsivity and rebelliousness over the last several years had kept the entire family in turmoil. "He was out with a group of his friends, drinking, and a fight developed. One of his drunken friends stabbed him through the temple. Temporarily he is being kept alive so his organs can be harvested for transplant. Please, come to the hospital. I need your support." Ted was diagnosed with ADHD as a young child. His life was a roller coaster ride for everyone in the family.

Well-meaning critics would have us believe that ADHD is nothing more than the "malady du-jour" for a generation of parents and teachers who want an easy route with "high strung" youngsters. This may be true in some cases; however, ADHD is a serious problem for many others. It can be fatal.

Numerous prison studies have reported an extremely high incidence of ADHD among inmates. This is not coincidental. The inability to benefit appropriately from social skills development, the inability to benefit from subtle behavioral cues, the inability to delay gratification, the inability to appropriately understand cause and effect adequately enough to make wise choices are the very behaviors that bring ADHD victims into the legal system. Along that path, they often collect victims much like a gunslinger in the old west would acquire notches on his gun handle.

Prevailing medical theory supports that brain chemistry is different in children with ADHD from that of children who are not affected with the disorder. As a result, ADHD children behave, learn, and react differently from their peers. Life for them is problematic. As a result they are often perceived as troublemakers and problem children. Due to their diminished ability to perceive innuendo, suggestion, and subtlety effectively, they can develop more severe conduct and adjustment disorders. Their behaviors often ensnare unsuspecting friends as well as creating trauma for bystanders. It is not uncommon for parents of adolescents to receive a call in the night from police regarding an accident, caused by a youngster with ADHD who self-medicated on alcohol and got behind the wheel.

Both the "hyperactive" and the "attention deficit" part of this syndrome distract the child, interfering with his ability to learn; not only math, history, and science, but appropriate levels of social interaction. His behavior in the classroom can interfere with the ability of others to learn as well. When other students recognize that it is inappropriate to shout out answers in the classroom, the ADHD child is caught up in a world of mental frenzy, unable to focus on the subtlety of self-control. He misses many of life's lessons in this manner. He is not only handicapped by the disability itself, but insult is added to injury as he ultimately falls behind in social skills and educational development.

Impulsiv ity, taking risks without thought of consequence, seeking immediate gratification are aspects of immaturity. We all exhibit these behaviors in some degree or another as children. They are also aspects of ADHD, only more so. Unfortunately, for the child with ADHD the level of immaturity is more intense and hangs on longer than it does for other children. Generally, it is lifelong. The developmental social gap between children with ADHD and those without it widens with time. These behaviors, or skill deficits, not only put the child with ADHD at risk, but also coupled with childhood and adolescent peer pressure they create an ADHD risk zone that encircles others who socializes with them. The risk-taking ADHD adolescent often becomes an anti-hero, drawing them into his high-risk behaviors.

Ted was an exceptionally bright child. He was talented. He learned information quickly, but rarely cared to apply himself when learning became a challenge. That required focus. He was athletically gifted, but being part of a team required discipline and the ability to cooperate with others. As a result he dropped out of high school in the Tenth Grade after acquiring a string of disciplinary referrals that put him on the path to expulsion. Unfortunately, like an avalanche, his downhill slide snagged a string of followers. He was charismatic and somewhat of an anti-hero, good looking, humorous, quick to make jokes. He was popular in his immaturity. As school was not important to him, it became unimportant to his followers. Others dropped out of school with Ted so they could spend their days drinking, drugging, and enjoying the good life. Ted became the bad apple that spoiled the barrel. How often have we heard a parent say, "Johnny is a good boy. He just got caught up in the wrong crowd." My bet would be that somewhere, leading that crowd, there's a kid with ADHD.

Adolescents severely affected by ADHD typically also develop behavioral disorders that lead to problems with authority. In their frame of reference the continuous call to "conform" becomes harping, nagging, and picking on them. At some point their inability to pull it together becomes unbearable. Rebellion against the unbearable becomes their chief coping mechanism. Their angry, anti-social behavior can easily escalate to the point of illegal activity, arrest, incarceration, or death for them and for their associates.

There are effective treatment protocols that include medication, individual therapy, family therapy, and social skills training. Untreated, their "off base" behaviors, their impulsivity, their poor decision making, their immaturity, and their risk taking impair the ability of these children to prosper. It is one of the insidious side effects of the disorder. Along their social slide, they take prisoners as well as become prisoners.

Adolescent s are known for their loyalty to friends. They often cannot tell the difference between a friend who is wise and one who is a "wise-ass." This makes it difficult for friends of ADHD victims to avoid being drawn into the trouble. We've all heard, "We are judged by the company we keep." Often the bystander, the onlooker, is inadvertently drawn into the antisocial behavior and it's consequences.

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