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| No | 25% | 79 votes | Total: 320 votes | |
| Yes | 75% | 241 votes |
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Add to FavoritesIn a loving relationship, probably the majority of women would be sensitive enough to consider the father's position prior to making the decision about whether or not to abort. On moral grounds, I personally believe that married couples should mutually decide the fate of a pregnancy.
However, the law CANNOT and SHOULD NOT be amended to give fathers the opportunity to challenge a woman's right to abort, or to compel her to have an abortion. While the father can have an opinion, he CANNOT have any legal say about whether or not a woman aborts, as this would be EXTREMELY detrimental to women and legally impossible to enforce.
Where there is a divergence of will between the father and the mother, whose will should supersede and be enforced? Would the courts decide which parent to favour on a case by case basis, and what criteria would they use in making their decision? If men were given a say, they would have to resort to legal methods to enforce their paternal rights and courts would have to favour the will of one of the two parents. Courts would be overwhelmed and stalled for months, and by the end of the bitter ordeal, it could be too late or too dangerous for the woman to abort. For pragmatism and simplicity, the decision to abort must remain a private decision that rests with the woman, who carries most of the physical and emotional consequences of either the abortion or childbirth.
In order to allow a father to have a say as to whether or not the mother aborts, it must be clear who the father is, so there must be pre-partum paternity testing to determine his identity. Paternity DNA testing is only possible after a child is born, or at the very earliest during the second trimester, when it is either too late or much more dangerous to abort. Allowing a father say in an abortion could mean that a woman would have to wait until the second trimester to abort and be forced to undergo obligatory paternity testing and/or disclose the identity of the father, which is a clear invasion of privacy. This is also indiscreet, insensitive and potentially devastating, especially if she is unsure about the identity of the father, or the child was conceived under volatile circumstances, or if the woman has a poor relationship with the father. A cunning man can manipulate paternal rights in his favour by claiming to be the father of the child even if he is not, intentionally impeding a woman's abortion, or ruining the woman psychologically by compelling her to abort.
Giving the father say could even potentially put the woman in danger. Sadly, 1 in 5 women are victims of domestic violence, and if a woman is raped or abused, allowing the father the right to impede her from terminating her pregnancy could force her to carry on a relationship with a man who injured or violated her, if he in fact is the father. The law must protect pregnant women who are victims of violence from being victimized twice.
Pro-choice activists furthermore argue that a woman's body is autonomous to her, and the law and society cannot compel her to raise a child that she is too incapacitated or unable to raise. Allowing a man say in whether or not a woman aborts allows a man to use a woman to bear and raise a child she does not want or cannot raise. In the other extreme, giving him say might force a woman to involuntarily dispose a fetus that is mostly made of her own bodily tissue. If a man successfully challenges a woman's right to abort and forces her to have a child, it can be psychologically, financially and emotionally damaging to her. If a father exercises his right to compel her to abort, it can be equally emotionally and morally damaging, especially if she is pro-life. If she has the child against her will, such a situation creates tension and animosity between the parents and adversely affects the mother's parenting skills, as she might grow to resent, rather than love, the child she was forced to have. It could also lead to emotional issues such as child abuse, substance dependency or suicide, if she cannot cope with the burden that the father imposed on her.
The right to refuse medical procedures is guaranteed to all, so why should a man's will force a woman to undergo childbirth, which is probably the most painful medical procedure in existence? Likewise, if a woman can legally refuse a blood transfusion, a man's wish should not legally force her to undergo an abortion. In many parts of the world and even in North America, childbirth is still dangerous and life threatening, and it is cruel to force a woman to go through the pain of childbirth and the physical, emotional, financial and lifestyle consequences of pregnancy and parenting, simply because the father wished to have the child.
Learn more about this author, Paola Fanutti.
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Yes
If it comes down to having to decide on abortion, lives will be changed.
The effects of abortion are many. The story you are about to read will not include how much God loves all partied in this kind of event, however it is God's love that can help everyone make it with some sense of sanity. It will not include how I saw God in the midst of the events. It will not cover just how much God has blessed through the final outcome. That is all another story. This is about how deeply effected the participants are as abortion becomes a significant decision.
The person carrying the baby is not the only one effected by the decision to keep, abort or adopt a baby out. In this case, this future Grampa was effected greatly. Two whole families are effected. The children get the whole weight of the event either way. There are no winners in an abortion of this nature. Even when they change their minds, and the children live, they will be effected.
She had aborted one child, and now she is pregnant again. Once again she has stated that she is going to abort this one. It is bad enough to get into that situation once, to do it two times seems criminal.
This time this Grampa to be was going to fight back. When she had her first abortion I did not know her very well, and my son was against the abortion. He argued and talked with her about it for days, and when he realized there was not going to be a change in her mind, he told her he would still love her. He did, and it was hard on him.
I was angry with her, and at this point I thought she was being very selfish. She said the baby would cramp her lifestyle financially and regarding her time. The child would be in the way and cost too much. At that point for her the baby was an "it."
I had several calm and polite talks with her about this possible abortion. She really wasn't listening. She had her mind made up again. This time I discovered that her Mom had a greatly influenced in her choice to abort. My son was very upset and angry about it. He would not accept abortion this time.He was ready to take her to court, but the men really have no rights in the courts on these cases.
My wife and the rest of the family made attempts to change her mind, and there was a wall already in place to meet all of their arguments.We did not want to disown her, or reject her, but this was no small thing. In my personal view this was premeditated murder.
One night I decided we needed to have a discussion about this with her Mother, and our family together. Somehow we needed to all know what the others thought. As usual, we were all being friendly, and not wanting to make each other angry. I was basically not talking at all. I was listening and trying to gather all the thoughts I could before I jumped into the conversation. I really had no intention of allowing an abortion to take place. We all offered to take the baby. There was no reason at all for an abortion.
That evening when I finally jumped into the conversation, everyone else in my family slowly left, and it was me, the mother of the baby, and her mother. I talked until I lost my voice. I cried, and the emotions were not hidden at all. These two ladies talked as if the baby inside of her was a thing to be thrown away like so much useless stuff.
Then I turned the conversation in another direction. I told the one who is carrying this baby to take a good look at her Mom. These words just began to flow like a river. Look at your Mom. When she gets old and needs care and time and the costs are high, just go ahead and put a billet into her head. After all, she will be cramping your lifestyle by taking your time and money, and energy. That will be the very same thing that you intend to do with this baby.
They still intended to abort, but time went on and for some reason they put it off until it was really too late. They found out she was having twins. Now it would be a double murder.
Those twins, a beautiful boy and girl just had their fifth birthday. They have been an awesome blessing, and are living with my wife and I. Their Mother sees them every other week, and seems to love them. She is dating another guy now, and he has several kids. She plans on taking these twins to live with her someday. They are wonderful children, and we love them as our own. We are not sure how to respond to the possibility of losing them.
During the time they have been living with us their mother hasn't supported them in any way. She has been living her lifestyle without them getting in the way. I really cannot see them being with her for long, or her new boyfriend because she will have to be a Mom. I don't think she has been a Mom.
She does have a job now, and has been going to all of her drug meetings. I suppose she has been drug free too.
Another sad thing is that their Dad has not really been able to support them either. He does what he can, but hasn't held a job for long periods of time, and most of the time sleeps on our couch.
At best, I don't think I have handled this whole thing very well, but we have given them a home and hope and love. I will be 74 when they graduate from high school. I plan to be there.
Learn more about this author, Ernest Smartt.
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