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Abortions: Should the father have some say?

Results so far:

No
24% 64 votes Total: 262 votes
Yes
76% 198 votes
No

In a loving relationship, probably the majority of women would be sensitive enough to consider the father's position prior to making the decision about whether or not to abort. On moral grounds, I personally believe that married couples should mutually decide the fate of a pregnancy.

However, the law CANNOT and SHOULD NOT be amended to give fathers the opportunity to challenge a woman's right to abort, or to compel her to have an abortion. While the father can have an opinion, he CANNOT have any legal say about whether or not a woman aborts, as this would be EXTREMELY detrimental to women and legally impossible to enforce.

Where there is a divergence of will between the father and the mother, whose will should supersede and be enforced? Would the courts decide which parent to favour on a case by case basis, and what criteria would they use in making their decision? If men were given a say, they would have to resort to legal methods to enforce their paternal rights and courts would have to favour the will of one of the two parents. Courts would be overwhelmed and stalled for months, and by the end of the bitter ordeal, it could be too late or too dangerous for the woman to abort. For pragmatism and simplicity, the decision to abort must remain a private decision that rests with the woman, who carries most of the physical and emotional consequences of either the abortion or childbirth.

In order to allow a father to have a say as to whether or not the mother aborts, it must be clear who the father is, so there must be pre-partum paternity testing to determine his identity. Paternity DNA testing is only possible after a child is born, or at the very earliest during the second trimester, when it is either too late or much more dangerous to abort. Allowing a father say in an abortion could mean that a woman would have to wait until the second trimester to abort and be forced to undergo obligatory paternity testing and/or disclose the identity of the father, which is a clear invasion of privacy. This is also indiscreet, insensitive and potentially devastating, especially if she is unsure about the identity of the father, or the child was conceived under volatile circumstances, or if the woman has a poor relationship with the father. A cunning man can manipulate paternal rights in his favour by claiming to be the father of the child even if he is not, intentionally impeding a woman's abortion, or ruining the woman psychologically by compelling her to abort.

Giving the father say could even potentially put the woman in danger. Sadly, 1 in 5 women are victims of domestic violence, and if a woman is raped or abused, allowing the father the right to impede her from terminating her pregnancy could force her to carry on a relationship with a man who injured or violated her, if he in fact is the father. The law must protect pregnant women who are victims of violence from being victimized twice.

Pro-choice activists furthermore argue that a woman's body is autonomous to her, and the law and society cannot compel her to raise a child that she is too incapacitated or unable to raise. Allowing a man say in whether or not a woman aborts allows a man to use a woman to bear and raise a child she does not want or cannot raise. In the other extreme, giving him say might force a woman to involuntarily dispose a fetus that is mostly made of her own bodily tissue. If a man successfully challenges a woman's right to abort and forces her to have a child, it can be psychologically, financially and emotionally damaging to her. If a father exercises his right to compel her to abort, it can be equally emotionally and morally damaging, especially if she is pro-life. If she has the child against her will, such a situation creates tension and animosity between the parents and adversely affects the mother's parenting skills, as she might grow to resent, rather than love, the child she was forced to have. It could also lead to emotional issues such as child abuse, substance dependency or suicide, if she cannot cope with the burden that the father imposed on her.

The right to refuse medical procedures is guaranteed to all, so why should a man's will force a woman to undergo childbirth, which is probably the most painful medical procedure in existence? Likewise, if a woman can legally refuse a blood transfusion, a man's wish should not legally force her to undergo an abortion. In many parts of the world and even in North America, childbirth is still dangerous and life threatening, and it is cruel to force a woman to go through the pain of childbirth and the physical, emotional, financial and lifestyle consequences of pregnancy and parenting, simply because the father wished to have the child.

Learn more about this author, Paola Fanutti.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Yes

Of course fathers should have a say in whether or not a woman aborts. It is his child too. Think about this, a father who does not want the mother of his child to abort is then on the hook for child support anyway, should she decide at the last minute to not abort or adopt. This is his right. If a mother wants to abort anyway, then she is selfish and is only looking out for her own interests. Birth control is always an option for couples who do not want children, for whatever the reason should have that choice. Father, or potential fathers have only 2 options for birth control, either no relations or a condom which is pretty unreliable to start with as they can and do break quite frequently. But a woman's options for birth control is almost unlimited: depo provera, the pill, spermicides, jellies etc. But if a man wants to be a father and wants to be a part of the child's upbringing, then yes , he should have the right to say no to an abortion. He can be granted custody of the child, if the mother does not wish to be a mother. Many children are raised by their fathers alone and do much better academically and socially and go on to lead productive lives. Children raised by mothers alone typically, according to real facts and figures do much worse: teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse, and a myriad of other social problems result. If a potential mother does not want to be saddled with motherhood, she has options:abort, adoption but with father's consent and agreement in writing, and not trying to hide the fact from the father that she wants to adopt out their child to another family to raise, and there is in some states, a safe haven law where a mother can take a newborn up to two weeks old to a hospital and leave them there with no penalty under the law. Why shouldn't fathers have the same rights and responsibilities to parent when they are ready, willing and fit people to raise a child? Until this disparity is addressed, nothing will change. Fathers are constantly maligned and distrusted in society to even be around children, much less parent them constantly is looked at as weird or socially unacceptable. A father's loving support can make all the difference in the world to a child.Children have always needed both parents to grow up happy and well adjusted and have a right to be free from abusive behavior. What I consider to be abuse, to another person may consider acceptable. Joe down the street may think that spanking is totally evil, but Karen across the street thinks its ok as long as it is used sparingly and with a loving hug after that is intended for the well being of the child later in life. Personally, I think it is up to individual families to discuss how they will raise their children before getting married is the best way, so the future children will know that they present a united front. A united front on discipline in the household is the most important gift that parents can give to their children. Consistent discipline and meaning what you say is far more important to a child, than whether the discipline involved time out or loss of priviledges or a simple old-fashioned spanking is what is called for if their behavior warrants it. And yes, some kids do need a spanking every now and then. As long as it administered with a review of the rule broken first and afterwards. Readers, do not take this article as permission to spank willy nilly for every little infraction, no this is wrong, and yes the state will take your children from you if they think that your spanking them is abusive. Whether it is fact or something the state workers make up out of thin air. Be careful fellow parents, its a jungle out there in parenting world.

Learn more about this author, Jennifer Foster.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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