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| Daughters | 67% | 242 votes | Total: 361 votes | |
| Sons | 33% | 119 votes |
Daughters
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Add to FavoritesMy initial, and most honest, answer to this question is daughters. Females have often been considered the more level-headed of the sexes. Even auto insurance companies are known for increasing the rates for their male customers in certain age brackets.
Lets be honest. When most of us think of young men with money, we think about sports cars, sports tickets, a lot of beer, and a huge selection of porno magazines. Of course, that isn't the case with all guys, but that's what we think about.
It is also very true that some young women can be just as reckless with money. The first few examples that come to my mind are designer clothes, too many shoes, too much makeup, sports cars, and a huge selection of porno magazines. Yep, I said it.
During the many years of my life, I have come across a few guys that are very frugal and quite responsible with money. They paid their rent and utility bills on time, and they were also able to have a little fun every now and then. At times, they even bought a few things for themselves. Unfortunately, in my experience, these guys were the exception to the rule.
On average, I do believe women are more money "conscious". However, my true belief is that it actually depends on the person, as well as the amount of money in question. An insane amount of money can make anyone go nuts for awhile. Personally, I can think of five big-ticket items I'd buy on the very first day. But, since I'm a single mom, those items aren't as extravagant as you might think.
The reality is that the answer to this question depends on several factors: How much money are we talking about? What's included in the inheritance? Are vehicles, houses, or other real property included? Are family members going to fight over it? If I had to make this decision for myself, I would have to consider all of this and more. The amount or type of inheritance is important, but the character of the inheritor is even more vital and key to determining the answer. It's not just about the sex.
Is one of the siblings a college student? Is one a drug addict? Is one struggling to take care of and raise children? Has my son blown through every dime I ever gave him? Has my daughter done the same? Which one of them stole that $35.29 out of my purse? Okay, this isn't something I actually have to worry about (not yet anyway). But those people, that are actually lucky enough to not have to live paycheck to paycheck, must consider those questions and others.
There is also something else that must be considered here. It is possible that neither the son nor the daughter is the best person to receive the inheritance. I'm sure this topic is meant to be a little more general than that. I know this is more of a male vs. female scenario, and yes, I did vote for daughters. But since I like to make everything difficult, I say the second cousin is more trustworthy than the son or the daughter. At least she brings back all of my change with the grocery receipt, and she's not planning on killing me for my money.
Learn more about this author, Anita Santiarett.
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Sons
If you have only one child, the question does not apply. Neither does the question apply if you are dividing your assets before you die, or as part of a will, into equal or unequal portions by prior agreement with your children as a total giveaway of your life's work.
Suppose however, that you expect a relationship of dependency with your children not with a big d but with a little d. Suppose you would like to be looked after by one or more of your children then is it better to trust your sons or your daughters? You could be a divorcee or a widower who has obtained a lump sum from your job on your retirement, or live in a big home that you may wish to share with one of your children's families. If you would like to be cared for as a parent, would you be better off in making material investments into sons or daughters?
In the West, being a burden on your children may be regarded with disdain. In other cultures such as in India it is sometimes regarded as a great privilege and blessing to have the opportunity to cherish and support your parents, to put back a tiny fraction at least of the investment one's parents may have given one. We would not wish to be cold shouldered by our children, in the hour of our greatest need if we have them. If children look after parents it may bring blessings for them, both spiritual and practical because your children's children will learn by observation and may look after your children when they too are old.
It is a statistical fact that parents will live up to two years longer if they have one or more daughters, because daughters will give special care and attention to parents, more than sons. In this sense, daughters are a blessing, in your old age.
Suppose you are a parent who has just divorced. Property prices are skyrocketing and you want to look after yourself, and ensure a good future for your children. You have just got this lump sum from your pension and/or your divorce settlement. You have a sons and daughters. Where will you make the bigger financial investment keeping in mind being looked after in the future?
It is up to you and I only provide this advice based on experience. Give the bulk of it to your sons if you wish greater security and comfort. Traditionally, in an Asian context there was no question about this but why is this somewhat sexist sentiment relevant perhaps to you?
It is simply because your daughter's identity will depend to a greater or lesser extent on her boyfriend or husband. Generally, men tend to dominate women rather than the other way round (and this would be with the woman's permission). Your daughter may initially offer you a lifeline she may be more assertive and practical with finances - but you can't trust her motives or future plans no matter how sincere she may be. If she gets together with a man, the extent to which she can be relied on and trusted will depend on the nature of the man. He would put his mother and father first and the daughter will be expected to "serve" them as a first point of call. You may be sidelined.
If on the other hand, you pass your money to your sons, even if they don't look after you like a good nurse they may well ensure that your domestic arrangements are up to scratch and that you are reasonably looked after. Perhaps your son/s may buy you an investment property in their name and pass it on for you to live in as you please until your death, but if it was your daughter/s - well, you may have to leave prematurely, speaking as a generality. Based on individual circumstances, this advice may need to be turned on its head - older children could get more preference be they sons, or daughters, but as I said I am writing from experience.
I am aware of a family where the daughter (who happened to have a stronger relationship with the mother at the time) took the upper hand while her brothers were busy, and persuaded the mother to give most of the money to her - which she invested into a property in her (the daughter's) name. Eventually, the daughter became quite bossy and domineering and the mother wanted to leave, but by now, the mother's pension money was also tied up with the property. The daughter ended up getting a boyfriend who literally attacked her mother, but being loving and giving, she had to defend his actions as he brutalized the mother and got very possessive of the daughter - he may have had his ways of persuading her for his/their future material ends. The mother had no option but to leave for her security sake to live with one of her sons. The daughter and her boyfriend effectively walked off or threaten (as things stand) to walk off with the mother's money and pension, profiteering greatly from an investment now entirely lost in a legal sense to the parent and her sons. Legally very little can be done if the property of the parent is tied under the daughter's name as "landlord". It is not easy to plan for your daughter's partner especially after marriage. Your sons however will put you first hopefully anyway. Have no expectations with what you give.
The overall moral is, think before committing your money with any of your children. Think about their age, their virtue and their sex with regards to future partners. Think about how to divide your assets between all of them to minimize future fall outs and act in your best interest with any "preferential" investment. Don't ever have confidence that you can dominate your children - especially a favorite, to maintain an investment you make to them for your sake. If push comes to shove, a male heir will be more likely to keep his word and commitments than a female because your daughter's future relationships and their impact on you are less certain, than the relationships of your sons. It was Andrew Carnegie, once the world's richest man who said that making money was easier than giving it away for advantage.
Learn more about this author, Randi J Task.
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