Do you trust federal bureaucrat regulators in Washington to tell you how to live your life?

No

1 of 18

by Jimmy Ettele

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Our federal bureaucrats presiding over the hallways of Washington D.C. have always taken a special interest in telling the American people how to live our lives. From what is and what is not Constitutionally acceptable to smoking bans in bars and turning off our air conditioners to conserve energy. Our Congress deems it necessary to interject themselves directly into the middle of the people who elected them and their lives. As the years progress so does the agenda of controlling lives in Washington.

Now it would seem from the outside that these jackasses and elephants we had a hand in electing would be morally filled people. People we could trust. People who have the best interests of their subjects in mind. Move in for a closer look and we find ethically and morally bankrupt social elitists who have more trouble with the law than a drunk redneck on a Friday night being taped by the producers of C.O.P.S.

Politicians try to deceive us. They try to flatter us. They are masters of spin and pandering to whatever base holds the most votes for them at the time. Most are driven by staying in office not what is best while they are in office. These are not people we, as a public, need to be telling us what to do. Beware of the warning signs conveyed by all of them...

All are dressed very nicely. When the average salary for these swindlers is a few Franklin's shy of $170,000 plus their personal expenses and travel money one would surmise nice clothing is possible. With all the time off they give themselves to promote autobiographies, push aside important issues needed to be voted on(immigration, oil, energy ring a bell?), and of course get arrested, running into Sears for a three piece or a pant suit is a no brainer. In fact the nicer the clothing the more reasons not to trust them.

Personal grooming is impeccable. We as a mainly middle class society are to believe individuals who say they "know" the middle class of America, seeing our plight and feeling our pain, then go out and spend $400 for a haircut? Then of course they jump into their tax funded SUV getting eight miles to the gallon, jump on a first class or private airplane to jet home, and then limousine back to their multi-thousand square foot estate. Well at least their hair looks good.

They have been in office for a long time and seem to know what is best. In reality most have been in office since the Polk administration. Helped along by redrawing their districts when the people have discovered their devious and dubious lifestyles. Redrawing those districts ensures two to four more years of taking bribes, wasting taxpayers money, and growing fat with power. Being in office for multiple administrations is a recipe for morally high horse babbling.

Politicians are also notorious for their language. The type of language they use dismisses them from lawsuits, public disdain, and potential loss of jobs as they weave the strands of their euphemistic speak to lull their unsuspecting victims(you and me) to sleep. You may hear words or phrases that you should know are automatic triggers, for example...
Inappropri ate. Meaning illegal, like when you put your hands on an adolescent intern's naughty place or send sexy cell phone texts to the same intern.
Misappropriat e. As in, "we don't know where the hell it is...". This can be heard when asking the president about the billions of dollars that seem to have been lost in Iraq. Money to be used for soldiers, rebuilding a nation, fighting terrorism.
Special session. We have been hearing this phrase a lot recently. This phrase is akin to 'Someone may be going to jail or having to resign when we're finished. Larry Craig and Tom Delay know all about special sessions.
Misinformat ion. Lying. The government holds this particular word near and dear to their hearts. The American public is privy to loads of misinformation on a daily basis. In fact it was one of the main reasons for invading Iraq.
Advanced interrogation. This one is easy, it means We are so going to be torturing this Arab prisoner we are holding due to the recalling of Habeas Corpus. Imagine hanging upside down, blindfolded and bound. Now we are going to dump gallons of water on your head and choke you with a wet sponge. You know...advanced interrogation.
Terror ists want to kill your children Jim. As in, terrorists want to kill your children Jim. This is one that helps escalate that pretty colored danger bar found on Fox News up to the red. Frequently heard at press conferences with the President as he attempts to justify a war.
Regretfully. This one is used when another member of Congress is caught in an illegal hooker ring or has their cell phone number etched in a call girl service's ledger. Used in conjunction with a press conference and an ashamed spouse standing directly behind you.
I was honest 99% of the time. We just had the pleasure of hearing this one. You don't think one of our upstanding honest members of government was going to admit to having an affair on his dying wife if he didn't have to. Besides, in the long run, he is looking to salvage a potential run at Congress in two years and you can't be all dishonest, just one percent.

Besides their language, politicians frequently pander to the nearest group of voters. It may come during a bike rally in Sturgis or on a Sunday morning church service with Southern Baptists, but our rule makers sure to know how to play it up. It is almost like they are willing to compromise their own strings of morals for three or four more votes?

So these are the people we think should be telling us how to live our lives? Corrupt, greedy, power hungry, ego-maniacal rich people who are unable to keep their own lives in order, are going to be the ones to tell us what to do? They have no more right telling us how to live our lives than your neighbor down the street does. So we as a public have lost all of our spirit and personal accountability as to allow for overpaid, over appreciated, under working criminals do it for us? Maybe it is time for federal bureaucrats to be regulated? Maybe they need regulation by the public? In fact, maybe we can do it during the next election cycle?

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