Can mothers diagnosed with bipolar disorder make good parents?

No

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by Kaye Boss

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Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder which affects moods, energy levels, and activity levels in day-to-day activities. This mental disease is often identified by what are known as mood episodes in the person. While everyone goes through moody moments, a mood episode is a mood swing that lasts for longer periods of time. For example someone with a mood disorder would experience feelings of either manic (outgoing, overly happy feeling) or depressive (sad, hopeless feeling) for a period of one to two weeks. These moods would last most, if not all of the day in length.

Before branching further into the topic of whether or not a mother can be a good parent if suffering from bipolar disorder, it is important to search further into the identifying symptoms and risks of someone who suffers from this mental disease. In order to describe the symptoms we must separate the disorder into the two different moods; manic and depressive. Symptoms of the manic mood swing are feelings of irritability and high energy (as if they were caffeinated all the time), restlessness, little sleeping, and having unrealistic beliefs. By unrealistic beliefs I am referring to a person that is overconfident in their abilities, and they will partake in actions that they feel are pleasurable and put them at risk without thinking through the risks. On the opposite side of the spectrum, the depressive state will cause a long period of anxious, worried emotions that accompany fatigue, suicidal feelings, and a lack of concentration on activities that they would normally be able to handle.

So, what are the risks of having bipolar disorder in your life? Aside from the effects that can be assumed present with the above listed symptoms, bipolar disorder has been statistically proven to co-exist with other diseases and conditions such as migraines, thyroid disease, obesity, diabetes, and heart problems. Bipolar disorder, when at the highest state of the moods (either manic or depressive) can also cause severe symptoms of hallucinations and delusions, and in many people substance abuse.

Now, finally, to get to the subject of why a mother with bipolar disorder cannot make a good parent. While I am hopeful for people suffering from mental disorders; a mother, especially a mother to younger children, is not capable of handling her role as a mother. Bipolar disorder is a mental disease that has no cure, it can simply be treated with mood stabilizers. Ironically however one of the side effects of many mood stabilizers is mood swings. The treatment is just as risky as the disorder itself. There are also many physical side effects which can leave a mother feeling useless and wanting to sit and rest; feelings of dizziness, restlessness, nausiousness, headaches, etc.

So, how does this affect parenting skills? Children, especially at a younger age when they are more vulnerable, should be influenced greatly by their parents (and they are, whether this is in a good or bad manner). If children are raised by a parent suffering from bipolar disorder it can cause a lot of confusion, self-doubt, or poor choice making abilities which could lead to a child becoming involved in the use of drugs and alcohol or becoming depressed.

Let's think about it in this manner; both of the moods can have a negative affect on the child, and the disease as a whole can also affect the child. The feelings of mania affect the child because the parent's overconfidence and risky behaviour which leads them to partake in pleasurable activities for themselves can cause a child to feel as though they can do what they want (Why not? Mom or dad do). As well, a parent's overconfidence may cause them to feel superior which could be reflected on the child by the parent making the child feel worthless, stupid, or worse. The depressive moods are also terrible as well. Having a suicidal parent with feelings of sadness and a lack of concentration and ability to make decisions can cause conflict for a child mentally. Some children will blame themselves for their parent feeling depressed and suicidal. Bipolar disorder, or any mental disorder for that matter, is difficult for adults to grasp, let alone children. Together, the manic and the depressive moods can lead to confusion in a child. Some children can be fearful of what mood their parent is going to be in when they come home. If bipolar disorder leads to substance abuse this leads to more stress on the child. Overall it is creating an unstable environment for a child to be raised in. Mood swings and severe emotions become acceptable and the child is expected to tag along accepting the moods of their parent even when they do not understand.

I am not trying to be cruel by claiming the bipolar disorder breeds bad parents. I'm sure that there are people with bipolar disorder that have amazing intentions as parents and would love to have that responsibility in their life but their instability makes the home for the child an unpleasurable, confusing place. The symptoms and risks associated with bipolar disorder are often reflected and carried down to the child. It is unintentional, of course, but until their is a treatment for bipolar disorder, I do not think that it is fair on a child to have a parent who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

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