Are we giving students too much power over teachers?

Yes

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by Mark Bliss

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In one of his most poignantly funny bits, George Carlin describes the age we are living in as The Cult of the Child. While it was hysterical to listen to his comedy styling's, the root of his message is actually quite frightening. Children in schools today wield a power far greater than they should have. This power comes directly from the parents who propagate this "cult".

All one has to do is observe a typical American classroom and take note of the behavior displayed by children and their parents. While I would never want a return to classrooms of yesteryear, where students were disciplined mercilessly and teachers never challenged, I fear we have swung the pendulum too far to the opposite side.

Somewhere in the middle is the most appropriate and the most beneficial for students today. Unfortunately, a pendulum is designed to careen too far each way before finally losing all momentum and resting in the middle.

As a classroom teacher, I saw this pendulum gain momentum throughout my career. It started with parents pushing for preferential placement with the most popular teachers and culminated with the current Not- my-kid attitude that permeates throughout the schools and will send quality teachers out of the classroom in droves.

To be fair, parents only want what is best for their children, understandably so, but the keeping up with the Jones's mentality has weaseled it's way into the educational system to the point where it is having an averse effect on the very children they are trying to advocate for. The result of this is that today's students are protected physically, emotionally and mentally to the point that we will eventually see children getting dropped off at school completely wrapped in bubble wrap. Kids today are not going to know what hit them when they become adults and they don't have mommy and daddy picking up after them. Just watch an episode of My Super Sweet 16 on MTV for a chilling (albeit skewed) view of today's kids. No, not all parents and kids are like these people, but the fact that they exist in the first place should be enough to make society take a serious look in the mirror and be afraid. Be very afraid.

The danger of looking back to our own childhoods for comparative purposes is the whippersnapper syndrome, in a sense, the overly-nostalgic-kid s-these-days-curmudg eon argument that makes anyone born after 1985 roll their eyes. But being someone who taught history, I know that the past can be something to learn from.

My parents, like many of their generation, punished me first and asked questions later. They would never have dreamed of calling a teacher to complain about their teaching style. If there was a problem in class, I was it and I better be the solution as well. Today it is the pretty much the direct opposite.

The Cult of the Child parents are determined to not only have a child who they can show off like a new Lexus with a GPS unit, but also will be their best friends. Just look at any commercial aimed for the parental unit. The popular theme this time around is pleasing the kids so that they declare their parents to be "the best!" Tyson Chicken has commercials that feature families (especially children) standing up on furniture to announce to the world what a great "mom" they have. Yeah, it's commercialism, but they have done their homework. Everyone wants to buy their kids love and be able to drink from the "Worlds Greatest Mom" mug without guilt of having not really earned the title. "If I get Jimmy the new phone he wants, he'll tell all his friends what a cool mom I am and those kids will tell their moms that I'm really the coolest and not them. That will show them!"

Thinking Error numero uno for any person in a position of authority over a child (parent, teacher, pastor, coach) is believing that they are the child's friend. If you are striving for acceptance of any child, you have indeed given them power.

I am not saying that children should be bullied into submission. I am definitely not saying that children should not be taught to question authority, in fact that is the key to building a responsible citizen. But a respect for teachers is crucial for the educational process. If a child is to learn from anyone, they need to have respect for that person. The Cult of the Child parent undermines this requirement by teaching the child that they are always right and the teacher (or coach) is always wrong.

Today's child knows that Mama Bear is ready to defend their self-esteem in a fight to the death.

Here are some situations and how a responsible parent might have handled it versus the current "Cult of the Child" parent: (blatant simplification intentional!)

Child forgets book/homework at school

Responsible Parent:
"Well, junior, I guess you'll just have to figure out a way to solve your own problem. If you can't, it looks like you'll have to accept the consequences of your lack of responsibility."

Cult of Child Parent:
"It's okay, sweety, Mommy will write a note to the teacher explaining that it wasn't your fault and if that teacher doesn't excuse you, I'll call the principal and complain. Now don't you worry and go back and play that new video game system I bought you!"

Child gets bad grade on test

Responsible Parent:
"Well, Junior, I guess you should have spent more time studying than playing video games. You can play games again when you've gotten your grade back up to where it should be."

Cult of Child Parent:
"Don't worry, sweetie. I've already written an email to that teacher and left a very strong voice-mail that gave her a piece of my mind. That test was completely unfair and I am going to set up a meeting with the Principal. Why don't you have some cookies I made for you to take your mind off of it?

Child complains about teacher

Responsible Parent:
"I am sure the teacher has a good reason for doing what he did. I'll call or email the teacher and talk it over with him and we can hear both sides of the story."

Cult of Child Parent:
"How dare the teacher behave that way. I'll take care of this, sweetie, don't you worry!" (and promptly calls every other parent they know and whips the community into a frenzy, then goes over the teachers head and complains directly to the principal and demands action be taken.

I'd like to say that these obviously ridiculous responses are entirely exaggerated fiction, but, sadly, this is not the case. Parents are so protective of their children's self-esteem that they will do whatever it takes to make sure that their children don't suffer any adversity.

By doing this, children learn that they can do whatever they want and their parents will make everything right. If this isn't giving children too much power, I don't know what is. Being a teacher can be a difficult and thankless job, as well as rewarding. It can also be dangerous, given the current state of hysteria regarding child abuse. I believe most children are genuinely good, but just as their adult counterparts have proven, all it takes is one to push the boundaries and wield the destructive power of accusation.

If only the "Cult of the Child" parents understood that their actions are in fact hurting their child more than whatever alleged injustice has offended them.

Most of us who have experienced life learned early on that adversity is a great teacher, if only today's kids would be allowed to experience it firsthand.

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