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Security blanket: Key to baby sleeping all night?
Results so far:
| Yes | 39% | 136 votes | Total: 349 votes | |
| No | 61% | 213 votes |
Yes
by Rosanne Gentile
Created on: March 06, 2009
Like so many before him, the special guy in my life enlisted early. Now at the ripe old age of 2 he is a woobie touting, nay saying, grandma loving, fighting machine. He is proud, strong, and an elite member of the special forces in homeland security. Security blankets win wars, fight off terrorist attacks, and maintain peace on the home front by providing a good nights sleep. OOOH RAH!
There was a time when a child with a special attachment to a security blanket or stuffed animal would have been looked upon as an insecure, ill parented, or anxious child. They have been a sore spot and a source of debate among family members and the medical community for decades. Although no one can tell you with any authority why one child favors a security feature while another copes without one, we now understand that for some children they are the Xanax of diaperdome and not a symptom of a more nefarious bonding issue.
Often as parents we unknowingly set our children up for poor sleep behaviors. Reluctant to part with the peaceful joy of cradling an infant in our arms, we tend to place them in their cribs after they have been rocked to sleep, only to scoop them up again at the first signs of stirring. As time goes on the infant associates these behaviors with sleep and becomes unable to achieve slumber in any other manner, a behavior which has sent more than one set of parents running to the pediatrician for advice as the child gets older.
One would be hard pressed to pick up any parents" how to" guide on sleep which doesn't incorporate the use of a security feature today. Parents are now being told to place drowsy infants into bed with a familiar item, rather than walking, singing, or rocking baby to sleep. Security blankets are swapped out for pacifiers, and used to encourage toddlers to sleep in their own beds. Although not needed or even accepted by all children the adult value of security features as transitional items has come a long way.
During the ages of 1-3 it is not at all uncommon to see a child form a special bond with a blanket or stuffed toy, especially when the bond has been fostered during a sleep ritual. When faced with periods of separation, illness, or stress, some children find their security feature to be a source of comfort throughout the daylight hours as well. Rather than discouraging such behaviors we are now a society more aware of how children take advantage of the limited coping mechanisms available to them. They are welcomed in daycares and encouraged during doctor's visits and hospital stays. Previously the subject of ridicule and bad mothering, they are now more widely accepted than Mastercard and Visa.
As parents or caregivers the relationship a child has with a blanket or stuffed animal can sometimes be a double edged sword. Although they provide comfort and familiarity to the child they are often a source of stress for adults. Should they become misplaced there is widespread panic, and in most cases substitutions are nonnegotiable. We become concerned for their cleanliness and often embarrassed by their tattered appearance. More than a few minutes of the day are spent worrying the child will show up on the first day of high school carrying the disintegrating remains of Elmo in their backpack. Not to mention the disapproving looks and unkind words from unenlightened family and strangers alike. Leaving us to wonder when is it time, if ever, to severe the bond?
For most children the attachment to a security blanket begins to wane around the age of three, although in some cases it may last until the age of seven. Peer pressure is not always a negative influence and most school aged children quickly realize the blanket is better left at home when it becomes clear none of the other kids are sporting one. As difficult as it may be for some parents not to intervene in the process a developmentally well adjusted child will know when the security blanket has outlived its usefulness.
Not every battle can be won simply on the merits of a highly decorated security feature. In some cases the heavy artillery provided by a parent will be required to emerge victorious. Steve the monkey may never convince your toddler the pediatrician isn't Dr. Mengele, and the cloaking powers of the woobie may fail when confronted with hellhound Pomeranians. Regardless of their limitations children all over the world form special attachments to objects they find calming, and sleep better for them. Useful objects by day they become a child's secret weapon when darkness falls. Contained within the heart of each security blanket, or stuffed BFF, lays the source of a child's control. Well, some of it anyway.
Learn more about this author, Rosanne Gentile.
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No
by Perry McCarney
Created on: April 25, 2009 Last Updated: May 07, 2011
I am going to be savagely blunt here, if your baby needs a security blanket or some other form of comforter to sleep through the night, you are failing as a parent. There can be many reasons why a baby doesn't sleep through the night, but if he or she does when given an object to provide comfort, then the reason is insecurity. A security blanket won't keep a baby suffering from teething pains sleeping through the night. As a parent, you are responsible and duty bound to provide security to your child, not a blanket!
This is the same sort of Victorian idiocy that has parents-to-be decorating a spare room as a nursery. Why on Earth would a baby want separation and/or privacy from his or her parents? They are totally dependent on their parent(s) for everything besides the air they breathe. They don't actually need peace and quiet to sleep, the sounds of their parents doing normal things close by is vastly more comforting than feeling lost and alone, surrounded by silence. This includes making love, your baby will not be upset by his or her parents expressing their love and passion for each other in her or his presence.
As the baby develops in her or his mother's womb they become more aware of their surrounds. The beat of their mother's heart and the subsequent rush of blood through arteries is first felt, then heard as the ear bones form and develop function. Particularly in the third trimester, the baby develops a sense of what is normal sound-wise in his or her mother's location. If the mother has enjoyed listening to loud hip hop music, if her stress levels have been lowest when she has done so, then this will continue to be the most comforting sound to the baby once born. Stress hormones cross the placental barrier, so the baby will know and associate sounds with the stress level they induce in their mother. Changing your behavior patterns and your environmental sounds more than is absolutely necessary does not benefit your baby, the more you do so, the less secure the child will feel.
Television programs and movies from the USA all seem to show newborns being kept together in a separate room in American hospitals. This is a highly questionable practice, unless the baby is premature and needs support in an incubator or is ill. The only reason I can see for this policy, presuming it occurs, is to minimize the risk of being sued. The baby would be statistically safer from disease or injury, reducing the number of cases of the hospital being sued for medical liability. And therefore reducing their insurance premiums. That this is detrimental to the newborn's emotional and psychological development is apparently of no matter, since there is no way to determine how affected an individual child is, making it unlikely that a hospital could be successfully sued on these grounds. Unless there are complications with the pregnancy, I suggest it would be better to give birth at home under the guidance of a mid-wife or other suitable medical professional, rather than countenance this harmful, money-driven situation based on a fear of litigation.
Your newborn should sleep with you. In the lounge while you are still up and in your bedroom when you sleep. When they get old enough to sleep through the night you can put them to bed straight away in your shared bedroom, just leaving the door open so they can still subconsciously hear your presence. And after you have retired, the comforting sound of your breathing, or even your snoring, will soothe them and keep them feeling secure. They should share your bedroom with you at least until they're weaned and starting to show some independence.
A blanket should be used to keep baby snug and warm, the sense of security and safety every child needs should come from you. A security blanket is a very sad replacement for the security of a parent's arms. But the arms are not always needed. A baby is most secure with the everyday sounds he or she has grown used to prior to birth, most particularly the sounds of their parents' voices. Gift your baby with the security of your nearby presence and a security blanket or other comforter will be unnecessary as a poor substitute.
Learn more about this author, Perry McCarney.
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