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Baby Sleep Issues
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| Yes | 25% | 167 votes | Total: 673 votes | |
| No | 75% | 506 votes |
Yes
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Add to Favorites"What! Your kids aren't in bed yet?" The lady on the other end of the line sounded horrified.
I wanted to reach through the phone and smack her. What business was it of hers? She was treating me like the world's worst mother just because she could hear my two toddlers happily playing in the background - and it was nearly ten at night. Instead, I took a deep breath, unclenched my fist and began to explain for what seemed like the thousandth time.
We decided I should start looking for full time at-home employment when I discovered I was expecting our second child. I and my husband had been working opposite shifts so that one of us would always be home with our daughter; we felt strongly about raising our children ourselves. It made sense for me to try to find a job with some flexibility, and I did.
The best job available was a supervisor position working for a well known charity,so I would be running a crew of callers to solicit used clothing donations. It was rewarding work, and easy to do. There was only one potential hitch. In order to be productive, I needed to be available to work Sunday through Thursday evenings from 5:30-10:00.
I actually didn't think too much about it. My son was a very happy newborn, and my daughter a surprisingly angelic two year old. They enjoyed playing together, and the house was fairly quiet. I could always take five minutes to fix a snack, switch the laundry, or kiss a boo-boo. My husband, too, had just changed over to a 3-11 shift, so we fell naturally into a routine that was to last the better part of three years - and spark many a judgmental comment.
Our schedule was actually not that dramatic. The alarm went off around nine, and we ate breakfast in our robes before washing up and getting dressed. My husband and I would play with the kids for a few hours, then the baby would go down for his early nap while he and our daughter watched cartoons. I would use the free time to run errands or catch up on my reading while the baby slept. After the baby woke up, the three of us had Mommy and me time while Daddy took his turn doing guy stuff.
By two, we were sitting down to a hearty lunch before hubby left for work. I would clean up and do a little house-work while my daughter broke out the art supplies and the baby took his late nap. (We did a family home tidying every Saturday to spare me the brunt of cleaning for a family of four!) At five, the baby was awake again and I fed him and fixed our daughter a small, hot dinner. They would play in the family room while I manned the phone in the adjoining den/office.
I managed to juggle my work and their needs until ten, when I finished my report and faxed it to the office. I fixed them a healthy snack and ran a bath, while they ate and brushed their teeth. Daddy usually arrived home in time to help me dry them off, then I would settle our son while he put our daughter to bed with a story. Then we grown-ups would have dinner and a movie, and turn in about one in the morning. We got a solid 8 hours sleep; the kids, nearly 10. We were all happy and healthy, so why all the opposition?
"You know, now they're never going to sleep right," scolded a friend. Another warned: "You'll be sorry when they have to start school!"
Hogwash. All my children have always slept at least 9 hours straight, whenever their night' happened to be. As for school - at the time, both our children were under 3 and we saw no reason to force our family into a mold that did not fit. The summer before our daughter began kindergarten we gradually shifted our schedule and she adapted to it just fine.
We live a 'normal' life now. The older two are in school, and my husband runs his own business. He works more traditional hours, with a lot of flexibility so he can help out with dinner and homework - which allows me to continue working at home and caring for our new baby boy.
So it seems all the ado was about nothing. Our children show no signs of either insomnia or sleep deprivation. Indeed, we fondly remember our years as a family of "night owls".
Learn more about this author, Grace Alexander.
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No
The need for adequate sleep is not the only reason that the answer to this question is an emphatic NO, and scientific research provides data to inform us on this issue.
The first few months of life are the time that the body is learning to regulate physiological systems, including the Circadian rhythms that tell us when it's time to sleep and when it's time to wake. Infants' brains learn these rhythms through repetition. Healthy sleep routines promote not only brain development, but also effective functioning of the immune and other systems. These rhythms do not develop on their own, but rather through repetition and predictability.
It is not an accident that the day-to-day world of work tends to happen from 9 to 5; it's the result of the fact that we are most alert and productive during the day. Research also shows that night work and especially shift work are detrimental to health and related to lower productivity and quality of work. We do not just need a specific amount of sleep (and infants need a great deal-16 to 18 hours at first); we need the high quality sleep that comes with predictable sleeping patterns.
Moreover, there are other advantages to a routine bedtime, and to routines for other activities as well. Infants thrive and learn best in predictable environments. Predictability promotes brain development by helping the infant classify both her physical and temporal environments, to make connections between time and events. In fact, child development might just as well be called "brain organization," and this happens optimally in an organized, predictable environment. The brain organizes itself through experience, and patterns can only form through predictability.
Final ly, not preparing your baby for the 9-to-5 world seriously disadvantages him when he starts school. Child development research now suggests that it is less important that a child who is starting school know her letters and numbers than it is that she be able to regulate her emotions and behavior and to move from routine to routine during the school day. The poor self-regulation that results from irregular schedules and disorganized environments makes it difficult for children to focus and to use the resources in the school environment.
So think carefully about this issue. It is not simply a matter of lifestyle. It is a decision that has implications for your child's health, brain development, school achievement, and ability to function in the world.
Learn more about this author, Terri Combs-Orme Ph.D..
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