No

by Chola Mccabe

Created on: September 12, 2009   Last Updated: September 13, 2009

Smoking is a terrible, filthy habit, yet I've been a smoker since I was about 13 years old. Growing up, it seemed as though everyone smoked. In restaurants, malls, the car, and at home. Then, suddenly everything changed. Now people are saying it is child abuse, yet I don't remember feeling abused by my mother's constant lighting up. I must say, I had a pretty good childhood, despite all of the evil smokers around.

When I became pregnant with my first daughter, I smoked throughout. People constantly felt it was their duty to tell me all the damage I was causing to my unborn baby, and treated me like I must not love her or care because I smoked. Of course, my doctor told me I should quit, but even he wasn't mean and judgemental like the strangers I encountered.

My daughter was born healthy and perfect, and frankly there was no difference in the nursery between her and the other non-smoker's babies. I tried to smoke outside at home, and was successful for the first 9 months. But when she started to move around more, it became safer to smoke around her than to leave her unattended, even for a moment.

One thing I noticed out of all of this was how people reacted. It really is funny how a child can be covered in bruises and nobody says a word, but light up in front of your child and you become the devil. I've actually been in a restaurant with my daughter eating, and had people come in and sit right next to us, light a smoke, and then complain about me having my child around it. It's ridiculous.

So, we all know that smoking is bad for you, and second hand smoke is also bad. But is it any worse than sitting in traffic while car exhaust flows freely all around? Or living in a city that is full of smog? Or sitting next to a campfire? Sure it affects their lungs, but so do many things that are considered neither abusive or dangerous. We inhale toxins every day, that is just how the world is now.

To villify a parent for smoking around their kids is merely an excuse for certain people and groups to have a reason to complain. Of course, if you are forcing your child to smoke, then that is probably child abuse. Otherwise, throughout the years almost everyone who has ever smoked would be guilty of child abuse at some point. Remember, it used to be legal to smoke almost everywhere.

I am sure at some point we all as parents have done something that could damage our children. I know my children are happy, and healthy therefore they are not being abused. Being a smoker does not make you a child abuser, nor does it make you a bad parent.

I have never seen a child in counselling because their parents smoked, and to be totally honest, there isn't nearly enough being done about real abuse to start considering smoking to be child abuse.

Learn more about this author, Chola Mccabe.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.