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| No | 72% | 587 votes | Total: 815 votes | |
| Yes | 28% | 228 votes |
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Add to FavoritesThis is a valid question. If a person wishes to be married to multiple people at the same time, is it not their prerogative to do so? Is it up to the Federal or State government to decide and then allow or prevent this? Shouldn't individuals be free to decide for themselves? The issue of polygamy and its legalization carry with it a host of other questions and issues, of which go far beyond simply polygamy.
At the very core of this debate stands the institute of marriage, and what it means in America today. The definition of marriage continues to be a hot topic at this time in our culture. As the debate goes on, who's to say what it is? Certainly views on marriage differ between individuals, communities and states or there would be no discussion. But certainly as a society, we hold on to the institution of marriage with sanctity and value. And not just now, but in our country's history as well. It has been commonly understood and acknowledged that marriage is only between one man and one woman.
One's view on this issue of polygamy is foremost determined undoubtedly, by one's view of marriage and its definition. Certainly we all have presuppositions. We bring them along with us in every discussion, decision we make or position we take. I am no different, nor are you. Because I presuppose that God instituted marriage, this has a direct effect on my opinion of whether or not polygamy or plural marriage should be legalized.
In order to formulate a concise answer to this question we must first begin where marriage did. With God. Marriage was God's first earthy institution. Before there was a government, and long before the church, He ordained marriage and the family as the basic building block of society. God defines marriage in his Word. In Genesis chapter two God determines that "it is not good for man to be alone", and "for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh". It's interesting that the end result should be oneness, between one man and one woman.
Now, I understand the notion that marriage begins with God therefore we must begin with his intent of it, in order to come to a right or wrong answer to the question, will probably not be very popular. But if we do not begin with God, then can there really be a right or wrong answer? If yes, based on what? Based on the relative morals of the individual? Of the Culture, at any given time?
Certainly this issue boils down to our presuppositions on marriage. I can make valid points that polygamy has had negative effects on our society. We can find countless stories from children who grew up having experienced this practice. Stories of underage women who have been abused and forced to marry. I can make the same argument the courts did, as in Reynolds v United States in 1878. The First Amendment does not mean people can use their religious faith as a reason to break laws. The First Amendment clause protects the individual's right to believe, but does not prevent the government from passing laws restricting action. The court determined that polygamy is an "offense against society".
These are definitely valid points against legalizing polygamy. But what if one day our culture reaches the point where polygamy is not considered an "offense against society"? If our culture decides that abusing women and statutory rape is not "that bad"? What then? Is it right then? No. And that is why my answer to this question lies with God's definition of how marriage is to be viewed. Between one man and one woman. Marriage is the very heart of the family; it is what all civilizations are made up of. A society that undermines marriage is a society that does not honor and protect marriage, and will eventually undermine its very existence.
Learn more about this author, Vincent Saucedo.
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Yes
Read Anne Landers on any given day and you are bound to encounter a letter from a man who is dissatisfied with his sex life. Why? Men have many more reproductive years than women do. If men behaved according to their biological programming, they would produce as many children as they are able. Women lose the ability to produce children, and when they lose that ability, they often lose their sex drive. Women have been made to feel like something is wrong with them when they lose their desire for sex, but there is nothing wrong with these women. What IS wrong is the social construct that governs our views of sex and marriage.
Some men and women remain happily married for many years. It is impossible to know how many of the men in these relationships remain sexually faithful, but we can assume that it is possible. However, it is not uncommon for a man to find sexual satisfaction outside of the marriage or to divorce and remarry when his original spouse no longer satisfies him sexually. One doesn't need to look very far for evidence of this. Of course, women sometimes do the same, but it is far more prevalent among men. Early literature tells us that this phenomenon is not new. The Greek gods were shameless adulterers. The Bible also provides some fine examples of adultery and polygamy.
One would think that over time societies would become smarter about sex and marriage, yet most of us Westerners continue on believing that monogamy is the ideal and that we are merely too imperfect to make it work in many instances. But perhaps it is the other way around. Perhaps we aren't so flawed. Perhaps we are trying to conform to a system that asks way too much of us as human beings with innate drives that lead us in another direction. Is polygamy a vice or a virtue? I believe it can be considered a virtue.
A friend from Pakistan once told me of her culture and how the men who can afford to often have several wives. She said that the older wives are often grateful for the younger wives because they willingly satisfy the sexual demands of the husband. The wives, she said, usually cooperate with one another and become much like sisters, and they often work together to manage childcare and work, whether outside the home or in.
We are conditioned to believe that arranged marriages and polygamy are bad, but let's take a look at our results. The divorce rate in the United States hovers somewhere close to 50%! Blended families are the norm. So what we have is serial monogamy. What we could have is polygamy which would be much more efficient in terms of family life. Instead of multiple breakups and divorces that result in anger and jealousy, we could have wives/mothers working together for the good of the family. Which is more virtuous, serial monogamy or polygamy?
The U.S. is mindful of the harm we are inflicting on our children when marriages end in ugly divorce. We place the blame on the individuals trying to conform to society's expectations, but perhaps we should be re-examining society's expectations. Is it reasonable to expect that a man's sexual needs can and should be satisfied by the same woman for his entire adult life? I'm not a man but I certainly can make observations about men's behavior. When I was younger and single I had more propositions from married men than I had from single men!
It is not likely that men are going to change. We can change our views, however, on sex and marriage so that we can see ourselves as successful in marriage and sex rather than failures.
Learn more about this author, Mina Snyder.
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